So, in my last post, which constitutes my ignominious return to conversion-blogging after months, I mentioned that we’ve been studying kashrut. This presents me with a bit of a problem, logistically speaking. Let me break it down (it’s already pretty broken) for you.
One: I live in a small house — a very small house — which I share with a friend. We’re friends, but we’re not what you would call cozy.
Two: The kitchen in my small house is a retrofit; I’m not sure exactly what renovations were done when, but whoever put the existing (I hesitate to call it “new,” because it’s so totally not) kitchen in sort of knew what all the parts of a kitchen should be, but had obviously never actually cooked in one before. So that means the fridge is stuck in a tiny alcove between my office door and the bathroom door, there is about a grand total of three square feet of usable countertop space, there is only one sink (crammed between the window and the door down to the basement), and storage space otherwise is at a serious premium. Sinks are also a particular kosher issue, because if the sink is treif, as mine would necessarily be, I can’t soak dishes in it, nor wash them in a sinkful of water without a plastic sink liner (which I would store where?). And I don’t — obviously — have the counter space to leave soaking pots all over. I’m a walking disaster area; I do burn food on the regular.
Three: Snce I share a house with an unrelated person, and we don’t really share food, we each need separate food storage as it is.
Four: I still haven’t moved closer to the shul, which means I still live quite a ways away from any of the stores in town that sell kosher meat products. (Just eating dairy or fish is not an option for me, especially since I don’t like fish that much.)
Five: I don’t drive.
Six: I’m mildly physically handicapped and deal with fatigue issues, which means I don’t necessarily have the energy/ability to cook from scratch every day. There is no kosher restaurant in town.
Seven: I do not own a chest freezer, not even a small one.
Eight: While I’m once again gainfully employed, I’m on a three-month contract which ends at the end of July. I therefore have no guaranteed income past the end of July, and no guarantee I’ll easily be able to find another job after this one.
Nine: Even if I did find another job right after this one, there’s no guarantee it would be in this city. Many of the jobs in my field are either in the Waterloo region or the Greater Toronto Area.
Ten: Rental agreements in my town tend to be twelve-month leases.
Conclusion: From the way it looks right now, I’d be really stupid to try to move right now, particularly since I’ll find out whether or not $Current_Employer will extend/re-up my contract within about six weeks.
Unfortunately, my rabbi, whom I like very much and want to please, thinks I should start keeping much closer to “real kosher” like now, including using separate stove burners, plates, glasses, and utensils to my housemate, and buying kosher-slaughtered meat. While I genuinely do want to do this mitzvah, and intend to do it to my utmost once I can, I honestly don’t see how I can pull it off without moving house. I simply don’t have the room or the energy to try to maintain essentially a whole separate second kitchen in the already-overcrowded space allotted to the first one, and I don’t have the storage space to store frozen cooked meals for those days when I can’t cook/am not safe with a knife, etc.
And while I do actually want to move eventually, and was actually beginning the process of looking for a house to buy in the neighbourhood sort of equidistant between my grandma’s house and the shul (two! two! two mitzvot in one!) before I got restructured out of my last job…
…six weeks before my yea-or-nay date on a three-month (to start?) contract is not precisely the time, I think, to be contemplating committing to a year lease, especially since I’ve been here so long I rent month to month.
I know the rabbi would say that I should just organise my life around doing the mitzvot and HaShem will take care of the rest, but I’m much more of a “trust in G-d but tie your camel” kind of person (if I may borrow from the Islamic world for a sec), to be honest. And I’m sure this is going to delay my first meeting with the Beit Din, which was supposed to happen right after Pesach, but I don’t mind. One thing I am sure of is that these things will happen on HaShem’s time, not mine.