Wait, and Hurry Up?

I’m now in an awkward situation vis-a-vis my conversion, in that I waited a pretty long time to even start studying with the rabbi, and now, it’s six months, give or take a little, and he’s already expecting me to make major lifestyle changes — and I know this will only increase once we start learning about Shabbat.  Not that I don’t already try to observe Shabbat as much as possible, but it’s still a logistical challenge at this point.

On top of that, everything I’ve read about conversions indicates (although my friend RH didn’t seem to think this was so) that the Beit Din usually likes to meet with the candidate multiple times over the course of their study and practice process, basically to assess their sincerity and gauge their progress.  I imagine some spot-quizzing and Hebrew reading demonstrations are also required.  I was also under the impression that they generally liked for prospective candidates to go through at least one year of observing Jewish holidays, which I have not done (see “I’m BAAAAACK!”, where I talk about doing Ta’anit Esther/Purim as my first real Jewish holidays).

Now it feels almost like I’m being rushed into living completely Jewishly before I’m actually ready.  I honestly wasn’t expecting us to be this far along in the course curriculum by now; many, many, many people I’ve spoken to in person about conversions are of the opinion that it usually takes years (although, to be fair, I did come in with some knowledge of Hebrew, and a relatively high amount of Jewish literacy for a non-Jew).  I also don’t really feel I’m ready to take these steps yet, as I’m still struggling with remembering to say the brachot, and various other things.

On the other hand, there is part of me that (I can’t deny) just wants to drop everything, find a nice apartment near the shul like, tomorrow, set up my kosher kitchen immediately, and begin my new Jewish life as soon as possible.  My pragmatic, risk-averse, hard-headed (read: stubborn), raised-by-Scottish-people-money-watching side disagrees, however.

What am I gonna do?

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