Well, I did not go to shul yesterday. I had what could generously be described as a Week From Heck — I was busier at work than I have been in the last three months, combined; I put in a fairly large amount of overtime (alas, I’m salaried), plus various things happened that involved multiple types of bodily fluids ending up where they shouldn’t be. It’s a bad week when you have to spend a significant amount of time cleaning blood off the floor. Fortunately, it was my own.
So, when my special do-nothing Shabbat alarm went off, I woke up, took stock of just exactly how badly my fibromyalgia was cursing at me, and thought to myself, “Self, I need four hours more sleep much more than I need to go to shul today, really.” I think HaShem would understand, as He seems to be tolerant of illnesses that confine one to bed, as I was so confined. I wound up sleeping for around eighteen hours, all told, over the course of Friday night and Saturday.
Today I’m feeling wonderful. Ish.
Unfortunately, I think I have pretty much gone as far as I can go in terms of observing mitzvot and avoiding melachot during Shabbat right at this moment barring major changes in my living arrangements, other than maybe davening Shacharit on my own, although I don’t really feel comfortable enough with the service to do it well yet, and I’m afraid of messing it up. I suppose bli neder is my emergency escape hatch there, too, but I really feel it’s important not to mess it up. (I am the “old person who doesn’t program the DVR” of davening, I guess.) Oh yeah, I should buy one of those darkness-activated nightlights for the bathroom…
I had a dreadfully hard time about remembering to use the Kleenex instead of toilet paper yesterday, but fibro makes you stupid. Fact of life. Hopefully when I’m in my new digs and not living with a housemate, I’ll be able to Shabbat-proof my house (like by taking the toilet paper off the holder prior to Shabbat), which I can’t really do right now. That “furtive” thing again. B”H I don’t lose my job in a month.
Also, unfortunately, I just got news that my good friend DE’s father passed away over Shabbat. Baruch Dayan Emet.
I will try to write more this week, but doing my job and staying alive consumed pretty much all my time this week.