How to Make Chicken Soup, Plus Kitten

You will need:

1 kg chicken pieces (I like skin-on, boneless breasts)
1 large onion
2 large carrots
2 stalks celery
2 bay leaves
4 cloves garlic, peeled and minced
1 handful minced parsley
1 handful chopped dill (for that authentic Ashkenazi flavour)
1 tbsp deli kosher mustard
2 tbsp white vinegar

1 overly-clingy kitten

1. Buy the ingredients.
2. Put the grocery bags containing the ingredients in a high place where the kitten can’t get at them.
3. Rescue a fragment of an entirely other forgotten grocery bag out of the kitten’s mouth.
4. Get nervous about cleaning the litter box, vet bills, and the phrase “garbage gastritis” all at the same time.
5. Open the package of chicken pieces.
6.  Shoo the kitten off the lid of the kitchen garbage as his nose appears over the edge of the counter.
7.  Skin and de-fat the chicken pieces.
8.  Repeat step 6 as required.
9.  Put the chicken pieces in a large pot, and fill with water, and put it on high on the burner.
10.  Dissuade the kitten from trying to jump onto the stove.
11.  Add the garlic, parsley, dill, bay leaves, mustard, and vinegar.
12.  Rescue the chicken package from the kitten and put it away where the kitten can’t get it.
13.  Chop the celery, onion, and carrot. 
14.  Add the celery, onion, and carrot.
15.  Do not trip on the kitten on your way from the counter to the stove with the cutting board.
16.  Simmer soup until the broth is rich and the chicken and vegetables are finished.
17.  Finish with salt and freshly ground pepper, and serve.
18.  Remove the kitten from the dining table before he drinks all the soup broth.


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